Why Being “Nice” Makes Your Twin Flame Withdraw from You


If you are anything like me, you have heard many times that you are such a “giving” and “nice” person.

Maybe people have said that you are “too nice?”

And we like that.

It feels good to be a “nice” person.

The last thing we want is that anyone will feel that we are selfish and take advantage of them.

The Law of Attraction is simple – energy is energy and whatever energy we put out, we will receive in return.

So, in romantic relationships, you are a loving and kind empath.

You think that the more romantic and affectionate you are, the more romance and affection you will attract.

You give him a massage, telling him you love him, helping him with his sick mother and taking out his dog for walk.

You are thinking that one day he will do the same for you.

But that doesn’t happen.

Your Twin Flame remains passive.

Maybe he even feels grumpy and withdrawn.

You feel tired by being the only one investing time and energy in the relationship.

And inside you start to feel pissed by being taken for granted…

So why doesn’t giving work?

You are just being nice – how can that be a bad thing?

When we talk about energies, giving is masculine and receiving is feminine. Therefore Universe can be seen as a masculine force showering us with blessings; therefore, we get what we want on a receiving frequency.

When we are in our feminine we receive what we want to attract.

In other words; BEING FEMININE will attract MORE GIVING from him.

When we are giving to get, we become a Overgiver.

When you are a Overgiver he has no other choice than to be in the feminine energy, and no man want’s that.

That’s why overgiving is like wearing a umbrella: it makes it impossible for your Twin Flame to shower you with love and affection.

You are a in masculine energy if you are the major:

  • The Starter – Start the communication and get it going by liking statuses / images on social media or sending a text message or calling first. You are also the first person to make physical contact like holding hands, hugging, kissing and having sex.

  • The Planner – Planning what to do on your dates and asking him when you can see each other next time. You are also the one who proposes new things to do together like what to eat or where to park the car.

  • The Payer – Paying for the gas, the parking ticket, the dates or his loans/personal bills (like rent or food).

  • The Creator – Creating the romance: sending a love song to him or articles about Twin Flames, making a romantic dinner, putting up a nice bubble bath, or lighting candles.

  • The Giver – Give him compliments, gifts and flowers, or being the active one during sex.

  • The Fixer – Fixes his problem by telling him what to do by giving advice on how to tackle his boss or solve the problems with his children (even if it is a small advice like “follow your gut”).

  • The Thinker – Thinking, daydreaming and fantasizing about him when you are not seeing each other. You are wondering what’s happening in your relationship and trying to figure out how to see him again.

  • The Talker – Talking about your feelings for him, in person or through sweet encouraging text messages. You are the one that says “I love you” first and are talking the most on dates. When he is silent you ask him what he is thinking of or what he feels about you. You are also the one who wants to talk about the relationship and where things are going.

  • The Helper – Helps to ease his life like driving him to work, cleaning his home, watching his kids, packing his lunch box or going out with his dog.

  • The Parent – Parenting him by taking care of his basic needs. You are saying things like “Drive safely” or “Call me when you get home” (and texting him that you’re “worried something happened” if you don’t hear from him).

Everything on the list is masculine energy and women are doing these damaging things all the time.

At first it will feel WRONG to not be the one doing, thinking and giving.

Not being a Overgiver will feel selfish and uncomfortable.

No wonder, because as a woman you are trained to do the OPPOSITE!

You have been trained to believe that the energy, time and love you invest will bring him closer.

And that is NOT true!

Your Twin Flame doesn’t fall in love because of all the effort you do…

He fall in love depending on how much effort he do for you! 

The more you stop giving, the more he will fall for you.

No matter how loving and kind you think you are, to him it feels like “too much.” He feels smothered and turned-off without even knowing what happened.

That’s why you should never give a man more than he gives you.

I know this feels hard but don’t worry about equality.

Of course, you can still give in a relationship.

But there is a difference in “GIVING” vs. being “THE GIVER.”

A man who is living in healthy masculine energy will feel fulfilled by giving to you.

He will not feel the need to have something back in return, because pleasing you is what makes him HAPPY.


Step#1: Be Aware 

Awareness is the key to everything.

It’s OK to feel the urgency to send a text message that you miss him, or to feel an urgency to give him a gift.

Catch yourself when you feel the need to “do,” and feel proud every time for not going into that trap.

Meet all the feelings you have with curiosity by asking questions like “Why do I feel the need of giving him a compliment now?” or “Why do I feel the need to cook him a fancy dinner?”

Try to discover WHEN and in WHAT kind of situations you feel you urgently want TO GIVE the most.

Step #2: Stop – Give To Yourself

When you feel you need to give something back to him, which I can guarantee you that you will feel when he starts stepping up more, catch yourself and breathe.

STOP what you feel that you want to do.

Don’t start giving back again.

You will only get the same result as before.

Repeat in your mind “He falls in love with me when he gives to me, not the other way around.”

That will help you focus on the big picture.

Then I want you to go out a buy flowers and gifts, write love letters, or book a weekend at a nice hotel and give it as a present to the most important person in your life – YOURSELF!

The more you court yourself he will start courting you!

Look in the mirror as often you can and compliment yourself.

Affirmations can be a very powerful tool here if you feel this is hard.

Step #3: Accept And Ask For Help

Overgivers are often quickly to say “No problem! I can fix this myself” when someone offers them help.

We want to  show him we are strong and independent and we feel vulnerable taking his’s hand when he offers us help over the bridge.

We convince ourselves that it’s enough just to be offered help, but that is not true.

You need to allow your Twin Flame to step in if you want him to take more responsibility in the relationship.

I want you to ACCEPT when your man is offering to help you.

He will feel needed and you will feel loved and that’s a win-win situation for both of you.

Practice asking him for help with small things like help with the dishes.

Step #4: Start Saying No 

Saying NO feels scary.

Women are trained to be superwomen to rescue our man (and others) and we forget to rescue ourselves.

We usually forget to pull the emergency brake until it’s too late.

Strong boundaries help you retain your life energy, and that increases a man’s attraction for you.

You can still be loving and kind.

Being assertive is not the same thing as being a pusher.

“No, that doesn’t feel good for me” is a simple and gentle way of taking care of yourself without making him feel bad.

Step #5: Appreciate Him 

He want’s to give but he need to feel appreciated.

Say “Thank you” for EVERYTHING he is doing even if it’s so simple like taking out the trash, opening your door, getting you a cup of coffee, handing you your purse.

Lean back and let him take you out on dates.

When he reaches for the check, smile, say “Thank you,” and STOP yourself if you feel an urge to offering to pay.

Practice receiving gifts from him, including attention and affection.

Words carry powerful energy and “Thank you” is one of the highest.

Appreciation draws him to you like a bee to honey, so make it a habit to appreciate him every time you can!


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I invite you to like, love or share the article abundantly if it resonates because you'll never know who you will help by just reading it. 

Love, Viona

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