The No-Contact Rule: How to Get Your Twin Flame Back in Ultraspeed
If you are always the one calling him, and he never initiates a call or text conversation then you are indeed chasing him.
To avoid getting ahead of your man in the process of dating and kill he attraction, you need to Lean Back.
A powerful way to do this is to apply the No Contact (NC) rule, which means that you allow him to be the first one to reach out. When you stop taking responsibility for getting in touch (which is masculine energy), he will start taking control instead.
A Love Diva observes a man’s actions and reciprocates. She keeps her “cool” by putting herself in a position to respond, not initiate.
The No-Contact Rule works like this:
- When he calls, you answer (when you're available).
- When he asks you out, you accept (if you can).
- When he texts, you reply.
Think of it like tennis. He starts by hitting the ball over the net. You hit it back.
Leaning back means matching (not exceeding) his efforts.
- If he doesn't call, you don't bother to call him.
- If he doesn't ask you out, you don't go out (at least not with him)
- If he just texts you sporadically but doesn't move the relationship forward, then it’s “game over” for him and time for you to move on.
Don't be scared that you’re going to come across as “too difficult” or “high maintenance.” Men value women who demand investment. It’s all part of the chase. If you make things too easy for him, you’re never going to know if he really cares about you or if he’s just with you to kill time.
HOW MEN REACT ON THE NO- CONTACT RULE
The reason it's so hard for many women to implement the No Contact (NC) rule and to stick to it for more than a couple of days or weeks is that they are so used to being in control.
To avoid feeling uncomfortable, you’ve learned to lean forward, reach out to him, and then excuse your action with the following thoughts:
“I just missed him so much.”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about him.”
“I was so scared he would find someone else.”
“I was so afraid he would think that I didn't care about him.”
“I feared that he would forget me.”
Can’t you see? You’re not being nice by reaching out; you’re giving in. You are just trying to take back control by being in masculine energy!
By using the NC rule, you are actually and effectively taking control of yourself and your actions and activating feelings of fear and loss within him.
A man’s fear of losing you ALWAYS has to be bigger than his fear of commitment. That is how you make sure that you will never be taken for granted.
Yes, there will be some men who will get irritated or angry when your behavior suddenly changes.
They might send texts like this:
“So, you are just ignoring me now?”
“Hey, why don’t you text me?”
These men are usually stuck in feminine energy. They don’t want to change or do the work to keep the relationship alive. They want to be adored by their women with minimal effort on their part.
That’s okay. There are plenty of women out there for them to waste time with.
But you are no longer one of them.
Here are a powerful responses to fire back to him when he asks you why you never initiate contact (all you need to do is pick one):
“I'm a bit old fashioned. I want my man to take the lead. And it makes me smile when I get a text from you…”
A high-quality man who has one foot in feminine energy might occasionally complain about initiating all the time, but if you meet him with SUGAR (compliments, gratitude, and kind words) every time he does it, he will get over it eventually.
CAN YOU REACH OUT TO HIM ON HIS BIRTHDAY?
Don’t love a man the way YOU want to be loved! Just because YOU would love him to send you a happy birthday text, romantic gifts, and flowers on your birthday, does not mean that he would appreciate it.
My client Sara’s date was constantly ignoring her. She broke the No Contact rule because it was his birthday. She didn't want him to believe that she didn't care. She sang “Happy Birthday” to him and sent it to him as an audio message. He didn't even respond, and Sara felt humiliated.
All these heavy emotions could have been avoided if she’d stuck to the NC rule, but her need to be a “good girl” was way too strong, and she ended up being ghosted.
It doesn't matter if it's Valentine's Day, Christmas, New Year’s, or his birthday. The NC rule stands to protect you from becoming overinvested and overgiving.
The only time you can break the rule is when you need help.
Your car breaks down and you need someone to pick you up, or you need someone to move new furniture into your home.
However, I still don't recommend you break the NC rule here if you rarely talk, text, or go on dates right now. You will just come across as needy and desperate if you seek help or emotional support from a man who is ignoring you. Call a friend or family member instead.
Don't lie and pretend you need help just because you miss him!
BREAK THE NO CONTACT RULE TO GET YOUR STUFF BACK?
Let’s say that you went over to a man’s place and had an amazing date. But after the date, he ghosts you for weeks. You forgot your sweater at his place and now you wonder if you can break the No Contact rule to get it back.
The simple answer is NO.
Come on! Did you “forget” the sweater as a way to ensure you would see him again? Whether you’re aware of it or not, manipulation will always backfire, so avoid it at all costs.
At the end of the day, this situation is much bigger than the sweater. If you reach out now, he is going to think to himself, “Oh damn, she’s really into me. Is she just messaging me about a sweater, or does she want something more?”
Seriously, it’s not worth it. Don’t use the sweater as an excuse to contact him or hang on to him. Just buy a new one and let it go...sweaters are cheap. You’ll feel better when you replace it with a new one and forget about it. If he tries to bring it to you later, you can say, “Don’t worry about it, I have a new one.”
If you forget something at his place that has a high value, like your deceased grandmothers’ earrings (which you can’t buy in a store), simply ask for your shit back. Don’t call him; send him a text instead. No other conversation is necessary. If he doesn’t respond or tries to play it like he’s too busy to bring it to you, then you can write his ass off.
Here’s a script you can use:
“Hi. I left my earrings at your place. They are pearls with gold in them. If you see them, put them in a bag and leave it on your porch, and I will swing by and get them later.”
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