3 Ways to Become a Better Listener for Your Twin Flame

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I will ruffle some feathers here, but pretty much everything you have learned about the importance of "communication" in a romantic relationship is wrong.

Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating and trying to build a connection through the MIND doesn’t work with your twin flame.

Talking is and will forever be masculine and, therefore, not attractive...in big doses.

And let’s face it - women are known as BIG talkers!

We talk about our feelings. We talk for hours on the phone. We send long text messages.

We pour out our hearts in social media posts. We ask millions of questions.

We have a hard time with closure, and if a man pulls away, we send long emails, letters, or messages asking why and explaining our feelings.

In short, women are so verbally skilled and used to being the talkers that society labels talking as a feminine quality - and IT ISN'T.

Now before you get all triggered and pissed, I don’t say that women shouldn’t talk at all and just sit quit and smile on dates to become attractive to a man. 

But most women feel so uncomfortable with silence that we must jump in and fill in the conversation with meaningless talk and then we complain that our men never “opens up”. Girl, you don’t give him a chance! 


Women have been trained to believe that we have to prove our worth by showing men how funny and interesting we can be in our conversations.


Many relationship coaches or therapists encourage talking as well. Most love advice focuses heavily on the importance of “communication” and the expression of what you want and need.

But it doesn’t matter if you have no difficulty being vulnerable and you speak in "I feel" statements.

If you have a pattern of jumping in and sharing your experiences and your point of view when there is any sign of silence in a conversation, your twin flame will feel bored and withdraw from you.

Every time you feel anxious, your instinct as a woman is to TALK.  You are programmed to believe that communication is the way to build connection, and it isn’t.

You can’t TALK your way into a man’s heart.

Truth be told, men hardly CONNECT with us when we are talking; instead, they connect when THEY are talking.

The more you allow your twin to reveal himself to you, the more he will engage in a process of vulnerability that builds a strong connection between you.


3 POWERFUL WAYS TO TALK LESS AND BECOME MORE ATTRACTIVE 


Step 1#: Zip it and listen 

When he talks, really listen deeply to what he says. Don't multitask while he's talking or try to make up your response in your head while he still speaks. 

Focus on his face; study his eyes and mouth as he talks. Try to imagine everything he says and paint it in your head.

This will make you more present, and he will feel truly heard. 

Be curious and ask him questions. Don’t make it an interview but ask him about things that he loves. There are few men in the world who don’t want to talk about their work, so ask him about that.

Some helpful phrases can be:

“Tell me more."

"I hear you.”

"That sounds fascinating”.

"That's really interesting. What inspired you to do that?" 

Be sure to Lean Back in the chair as much as you can and have your feet firmly on the floor; this will still the urgency to lean forward and talk.

 

Step 2#: Become a Mystery 

The less you talk, the more he will talk. The less you share about your day, the more he will share about his day.

Sharing all your feelings, thoughts, ideas, and insights makes you too available and ready to be taken for granted.

If he knows every little detail of what’s going on in your brain every day, it kills all the mystery.

Attraction grows in silence and, most of the time, silence builds more connection than feeling messages ever will.

Practice being a mystery and don’t give yourself away too easily. Let him work to know what’s going on in your life and in your head.

Take a break from posting your opinions, feelings, and thoughts on social media. Keep text messages short, with a maximum of 2-3 sentences. 

While talking to friends, practice listening and follow the rule that you will not give advice if someone doesn’t specifically ask you. 


Step 3#: Check your ego

Every time you feel anxious, your instinct as a woman is to TALK.  You are programmed to believe that communication is the way to build connection, and it isn’t. 

Pretty much every time you feel you need to “clear the air” with a man, it is a red flag and a sign that you are acting from your ego.

The ego always wants to TALK. All the time. It needs to feel special. The person who is talking has all the attention in the relationship.

Be extra aware of instincts when you are feeling upset. 

If you are vomiting your “hurt” feelings at him all the time, he will start feeling that no matter what he does, he can’t make you happy. A man will not commit to a woman who makes him feel like a huge disappointment.

When you are really aware and do the inner work, you will not feel the need to share your “hurt” and upset feelings in the first place, which will end all drama and conflict in the relationship.

Sometimes, not saying anything and walking away or leaning back is going to be the best way to share the message that "this doesn't work for me or the relationship I want" and to inspire a man to step up. 

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Don't miss my free high vibrating Facebook group Manifestation Diva where you will learn more tools, and sacred knowledge that will help you manifesting a twin flame reunion in ultra speed.

Here's where you get access to my powerful free eBook Get Your Twin Flame Back

Learn the art of Leaning Back, and become deeply attractive to the man in your life with my popular Make Him Obsessed with You program (only $27)

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I invite you to like, love or share the article abundantly if it resonates because you'll never know who you will help by just reading it. 

Love, Viona

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