What Mothering Is & Why It’s The Quickest Turn Off For Your Twin Flame


Are you worrying a lot about your twin’s psychical or mental health?

Do you give him thoughtful gifts?

Are you cooking his meals and cleaning his house to make your twin's daily life easier? 

Then you are not alone.

One of the most common and damaging things a woman can do in love is to act in a way that makes her twin flame see her as his mother, and not his lover.

Here’s a letter from Sandra who was dealing with this struggle as well:

“Viona, I have a hard time to lean back and not thinking about my twin. I always want him to be safe and to know I'm there for him. I worry a lot because he is facing a lot of challenges right now, and sometimes he doesn’t sleep or eat. How do I move across this? I am trying to learn from past mistakes in order to not do them again. I’m terrified of falling into my old ways with him and I DON’T wanna go back. Advice? Thanks!”

If you want to manifest a twin flame reunion you need to step out from the old 3D paradigm where women are trained to believe men need “help”.

Society is falsely teaching you that men can’t make up their own minds, can’t make the right decisions, or don’t know what they feel or want.

This mindset leads to a “mom vibe” and creates a pattern of low value behaviors that makes you Lean Forward and him feel emasculated and desirous to break free of you.

Mothering behaviors are:

  • Householding, like shopping, cleaning, cooking, baking (example: picking up his dry cleaning, making him lunch, darning his socks, doing his dishes)
  • Helping him financially, like paying for his food or bills 
  • Driving him home after he’s been out partying with friends or driving him to work 
  • Send him messages like “drive safely” or “call me when you are home” 
  • Doing psychic readings to understand what he needs are so you can help him
  • Checking in on him when he is sick
  • Worrying about his physical or mental health
  • Sending positive thoughts or healing to him
  • Discussing his problems and concerns with girlfriends or psychics
  • Giving him advice on how to live his life or solve his job problems

If you are falling into this “mothering” trap (I did as well for so many years), you are taking the fastest road to separation and heartbreak.

I know you think you are just being “nice”, but you are smothering him and making him feel like a clueless kid who can’t take care of himself.

He has no other choice but to see you as an annoying mother, and this is the quickest turn off for your twin.

He will pull away from you, “forget” to call you, work more, play video games all day, and become more grumpy and passive at home.


Step #1: Decide What You Want

Women often come to me and say that they can’t change and that it’s in their caring nature to please, nurture, and give. 

With all due respect, this is bullshit. As a woman, you are trained to be in masculine energy, and, believe it or not, nurturing is not a feminine quality.

Mothering, like actual mothering with children, is often driven by masculine energy. It's about multi-tasking, go go go, do do do, 24 hours a day.

It’s just that women have taken this road for so many years that that hardcore masculine energy is seen as “feminine” in today’s society.

Stepping forward as a mother is masculine, and therefore not attractive. 

Every time you do, think, talk, plan, or give, you are Leaning Forward in masculine energy; and every time you feel, exist, listen, observe or receive, you are Leaning Back in feminine energy. 

You need to decide how you want your relationship to look and if you want to be his mother or his lover.

Do you want your twin flame to take the lead, become more loving, giving, romantic and affectionate? 

Or do you want to be the one in control and have him sitting around, not doing much, and waiting for you to tell him what the next step is?

You can’t have both. 

The energy you choose to be in will attract different reactions and actions from your twin flame. Decide what energy resonates with you the most and be in it.

The key is in practice, not genes. 

Step #2: Recognize And Stop Mothering Behaviors 

If you and your twin are living together, and you’re cooking, cleaning, and shopping for your household, while he does other things for your household, then that's not necessarily mothering or leaning forward.

If you are single and not in a committed relationship with your twin, you need to be extra careful to not fall into any type of householding. 

Whenever you're doing MORE for him than he's doing for you, it's mothering.

But it’s always the ENERGY in what you are doing that counts. If you have a passion for cooking and love doing it for YOURSELF, because it makes you feel happy and light, that is not mothering.  

If, however, you are cooking specifically for him, because you feel he never eats and needs nutrition, or you are trying to force him to eat veggies, then it's mothering.

He has a mother already and doesn't want to date one.

Recognize when you are doing things specifically for him, when you are changing his “dirty diapers” and are “cleaning up after him".

Those are the situations when you are mothering/leaning forward, especially if you're doing it with attachment to the outcome (e.g. to make him stay and/or love you).

Practice letting go of control, taking a step back, letting him lead and provide, and learning how to have an open heart and be comfortable receiving.

Step #3: Out-Girl Mama’s Boys   

Men who can’t make up their minds, who don’t know what they want, who want things done
for them, who ask for things, and who want you to take care of them are men in feminine energy.

These are men are feminized by society, and many of them haven’t cut the energetic umbilical cord from their mothers and healed their childhood wounds.

“Mama’s Boys” will subconsciously push you into masculine energy. In order to balance the Energy Exchange, you need to “Out-Girl” him inside the relationship. 

“Out-Girling” is a feminine mindset where you just refuse to get in there and mother and nurture him, no matter what. 

It means that you stop with all masculine behaviors and Lean Back in feminine energy even more. 

If you are the one who is usually texting and calling, commenting on social media and taking the lead in moving the relationship forward, you apply the No Contact Rule. He has to pick up his phone and do the work to contact you.

If he is sitting home watching television, accustomed to you asking about his day and giving him a back massage -- you will instead Lean Back and distance yourself. He has to get up from the couch, find you, and start a conversation. 

When you do this, he will either change and step up into masculine energy, or he will stick to feminine energy. 

If he can’t step up, it means that he’s incapable of acting like a man, that his whole desire in life is to be mothered; he wants to be in feminine energy and always will be.

If this is what happens, you have to make a decision about whether to keep him or not.

You are never going to find out if he is capable of being a masculine man if you don’t Out-Girl him.

Just remember that:

You are NOT his mother.
You are NOT his savior.
You DON’T have the responsibility to “fix” him.

He is a man, not a child.


Don't miss my free high vibrating Facebook group Manifestation Diva where you will learn more tools, and sacred knowledge that will help you manifesting a twin flame reunion in ultra speed.

Here's where you get access to my powerful free eBook Get Your Twin Flame Back

Learn the art of Leaning Back, and become deeply attractive to the man in your life with my popular Make Him Obsessed with You program (only $27)

If you want to get a stubborn ex back in 30 days or less and make him call you, text you, prioritize you, commit to you, and love you forever, check out my advanced powerful Manifest Your Ex Back program

I invite you to like, love or share the article abundantly if it resonates because you'll never know who you will help by just reading it. 

Love, Viona

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